After having 3 babies, if you were to ask me what I thought the MOST important, helpful advice that I was ever given it would be to put baby on a Wake, Eat, Play, Sleep Schedule. aka- Sleep Training. I just had my first baby when a mom of 5 came over for a visit, graciously brought our new little family a meal, and in passing mentioned this sleep schedule. She was a mom of 5 and still seemed to have her sanity- so I listened, and 3 babies later, I’m so glad I did. Now I don’t mean a hardcore approach where you never rock your baby or let your baby sleep in your arms. Nope. Couldn’t be that mom. I also don’t believe in being so committed to a schedule that you can’t leave the house for the day- I have 3 kids and need my trips to Target with a latte (and breakfast sandwich) in hand. I’d like to think of my approach as the laid-back mom’s approach to sleep training.
What I would stress to any new mom is that getting adequate sleep is SO SO important for her and her new baby and there are small steps that can really help baby and mommy sleep better. It’s huge in helping with all sorts of negative postpartum feelings and for baby’s development. For me, “sleep training” is the key that makes life with a newborn (and other little ones) easier. In light of that, I thought I’d share a few tips for helping your newborn sleep better and for longer stretches at night and maybe just be that (online) friend who passes down a little information in the hopes that it helps out another mama.
Please note that there are abnormal reasons that some babies struggle with sleep: tummy issues, feeding issues, etc. Those need to be discussed with your Pediatrician and hopefully resolved before worrying over a sleeping schedule. At the end of the day, each family has different schedules and needs- this is just what worked for our family.
Sleep Training: What To Do From Birth- 4 Weeks
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we…You just gave birth. You and your new little bundle are still in recovery mode. You are already dealing with a lot and because of that, I don’t push any schedule on myself or my babies for the first couple of weeks. I feed on demand and they sleep whenever and however works best. Let them sleep on your chest and soak it in. Right now just focus on feeding, sleeping when you can, and eating and drinking enough.
Although I don’t recommend pushing a schedule at first, there are still things you can do to set up baby for happy, healthy sleep habits.
Help them With Day and Night Confusion
One good tip is to keep the house light and bright during the day and not to limit noise (other kids) too much. Then at night try to keep it as dark and as quiet as possible. When they do wake up at night, try to feed them quietly with dim lights.
Sometimes You Need to Wake A Sleeping Baby
I know some people cringe at this but I try to not let them go for more than 3 hours during the day without eating. Even if all they do is eat and go back to sleep, that’s ok. Usually by this time mom needs baby to eat to keep her supply up, so that’s another incentive. Remember, If they are getting their longer stretches of sleep in during the day, you wont get them at night.
Introduce Their Bed For Naps
It really is helpful to let them take some naps in the bed they will sleep in at night. Even if it’s just placing them in after they fall asleep in your arms.
Sleep Training From 4 Weeks (or whenever you and your pediatrician agree is a good time)-
If you don’t pay attention to anything else in the post, pay attention to this:
Wake, Eat, Play, Sleep. That’s it.
The main goal here is just to put baby down when he or she is awake and happy. Don’t wait until they are fussy and obviously tired. Look for little signs like rubbing eyes, long gazes, etc..then after they wake up and eat, try to engage with them as much as possible. With newborns it’s not easy. Just look for those signs (or at the clock if you’re following a timed schedule) and lay them back down again happy.
At this stage most babies should be eating about every 2-3 hours. With my first I made a timed schedule and every day at say, 7am he would wake up, eat, and be down by about 8:30. So his schedule was:
Eat at 7am, 10am, 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, (dream feed)10:00 or 11:00.
Sleep 8:30, 11:30, 2:30, …
After he ate I would try to engage with him or place him near a window with natural light and then lay him down after about an hour. That would give him a 2 hour nap until it was time to eat again. Now with baby number 3, there isn’t really a strict schedule. We may wake up at 7 one morning and 5 the next. Remember I said this was the “laid-back” I have a few kids now version. The only goal I strive for is to have her eat every 2-3 hours, not sleep for more than 3 hours during the day, and lay her down when I see she’s getting sleepy, but still happy. She was sleeping through the night around 5 weeks and it was amazing!
Cluster Feed and Dream Feed
You may have heard these terms before. Basically, cluster feeding is just about getting baby to eat more frequently and as much as possible a few hours before bedtime. That could mean at 7:00, 8:00, and 9:00 or just 7:00 and 10:00. Whatever time bedtime is, just try to squeeze in an extra feeding or two.
Now a dream feed is when you would try to get a baby to sleep after laying her down for the night. Typically right before you go to bed. I’ve had this help and I’ve had this hurt. For some babies it will extend the time before they need another feed and they will go right back down. For others it may wake them up or mess up their sleep cycle. Do what works for your baby.
A few miscellaneous tips:
I really suggest buying an infant bed. Going from womb to crib is hard. Think about it, you are sleeping snug and cuddled up nicely and then your in a big open space. Infant beds are great options to transition from womb to crib. My new favorite is a Mumbelli bed shown in images above. I wrote a post on it here: Mumbelli Infant Bed. It’s comparable to a dock a tot, but less expensive and with higher sides which are great with other little ones around (aka big brothers). And bonus- I’m giving one away on instagram here- Mumbelli Bed Giveaway (full disclosure: I was gifted the Mumbelli infant bed, but thoughts and opinions are my own.)
Swaddle
Another way to help transition and get longer stretches is to Swaddle Swaddle Swaddle! There is a reason hospital nurses do this- they know it works. In a crib or an infant bed, swaddles make a world of difference. They also help to give them a secure, womb-like feel. I’ll link a few of my favorites below.
Start ASAP.
Start as soon as possible. With my oldest I waited longer before trying this method. With baby number 2 and 3, I started within the first few weeks and it was much easier.
Things to try when baby cries after putting him or her in bed awake.
Often times it can be a sign that baby needed to go down earlier, but it can also happen more with older babies (around 4 months) who are old enough to know when mommy leaves their sight.
SHoosh them. I don’t know exactly why or how, but the Shoosh sound works!
Pat them. Most newborns are on their back (hopefully), so I try patting them gently on their side. While simultaneously Shooshing (totally a word, right?)
Pacify them. After baby has established good eating/nursing habits, a pacifier is a great way to soothe them and help them sleep. Plus studies have shown that pacifiers can decrease the risk of SIDS and increase their happy hormones.
Rub their heads and between their eyes. I learned this trick when working as an assistant to a newborn photographer. When we needed them to fall back asleep, gently rubbing down from their forehead to their nose worked every time.
There you go mamas. Those first few weeks and months are such sweet times, but if you aren’t sleeping they can be so hard. I hope that something you read helps you and your little one enjoy a little more sleep. Don’t be surprised if baby hits growth spurts and starts to wake up more frequently, they will return to their schedule, just stick to it. Remember each baby has different needs. Don’t approach this as a one size fits all schedule and drive yourself crazy if it isn’t working. Do what works best for you, your baby, and your family. Much love-Amy.
