I’ve always struggled with anxiety: new experiences, new people, driving on interstates, sickness, death…all triggers that induce anxiety for me. I think it’s safe to say the majority of people deal with a certain level of anxiety. My level pre-pregnancy wasn’t anything extreme. Then came baby #1 and along with a new pregnancy, a new fierce level of anxiety arose and never completely left. I’m writing this in the hopes that other moms who had increased levels of anxiety after baby (even if its been years after baby) know that they aren’t the only ones. Mom anxiety can hit quickly and deserves attention and action.
How It Started
My husband and I were impatiently awaiting my Dr.’s entrance into the room with the ultrasound results that would let us know if our little bundle of joy was a boy or a girl. Unfortunately he had more news to share. News that would take my anxiety from pre-mom stage to deep in the trenches of mom anxiety.
Baby boy had a cyst on his brain. This news, like most medical news could mean nothing, just a simple cyst that could go away on its own. Or, it could mean an assortment of more serious scenarios like disabilities, and an increase chance of fetal death. Hello motherhood. Hello anxiety. The joy of finding out the sex of the baby was instantly stolen by anxiety. I’ve found that’s what anxiety does best, it steals your joy.
Anxiety That’s Not Just About You
For the first time my intense feelings of anxiety didn’t have anything to do with my health or well-being, but that of another. Sure I had experienced anxiety for family members or friends, but nothing like this. This was new. This was mom anxiety. After a few weeks of fixating on what could be wrong, and praying that God would spare us from it, we went for another ultrasound that showed that the cyst was gone. One anxiety hurdle down, a thousand to go.
Ways I Coped
When I took my first drive out of my house with my 1 month old in the back seat, I thought my chest was going to explode. My heart was pounding, my pulse was racing, and I had to remind myself how to breathe. All I could think about was some idiot running a red light and creaming my car with my infant in the back seat. All this, and I was driving 2 whole miles to the nearest Publix. I was never so happy to get back home, back into my “safety zone”. Because nothing bad happens to kids at home, right?!
Faith
Fast forward a few months and I knew I had to search for ways to cope. It wasn’t healthy for me, or for my child. As a Christian, my highest hope and greatest strength comes from Christ. His love and his finished work on my behalf is the ultimate hope for all of my struggles, not just anxiety. I rehearsed scripture, I reread truths (like how his love for my children and myself is greater than any other), and I got into the habit of praying before every car trip and during every sickness we would encounter the next few months. New moms know how that first fever can send you into an anxiety spiral. With that said, our bodies and brains are very complex and can easily become imbalanced. Although I am a woman of faith, I’m also a woman who believes in the benefits of Doctors, blood tests, and medicine when needed. A multi-faceted approach is what helped me in the end.
Food
It might sound funny to some, but diet can really play a part in the anxious mind/body. I found that caffeine and sugar were definitely not helping my emotional state. For someone who already suffers from low blood sugar attacks, heart pounding and pulse racing were similar side effects that I didn’t want compounding with my anxiety. So I cut back, and made sure to get in enough water, protein and healthy fats. Bonus: this diet also helps with nursing!
Fragrance
This was a coping mechanism that I wish I had started sooner. It sounds ridiculous to some that essential oils can help with anxiety, until you use it. Or, until you read the numerous studies where scents like lavender can help lower heart rate and cortisol levels. If you’re looking for natural ways to help anxiety, definitely look into trying essential oils.
How Are You Functioning?
A question that every mom needs to ask herself when questioning postpartum anxiety (or depression for that matter) is if the anxiety or depression is interfering with your ability to function in your everyday life. Is it affecting your eating, sleeping, or your ability to care for your self or your baby? Months after having my second baby I felt that my mental health was still in need of more care, even after following the steps mentioned above. I called my Obgyn, had a little heart to heart with my midwife, scheduled some blood work and we went from there. If what you’re doing isn’t enough, don’t feel bad about reaching out to professionals. It’s better for you and your new baby if you do.
How Is Your Vitamin D?
My blood work showed that I was deficient in Vitamin D which has been shown to affect mental health like anxiety and depression- go figure! PS. Vitamin D deficiency happens to a lot of new moms. One deficiency can cause a host of issues. So do yourself a favor, if your methods aren’t working, schedule an appointment with your Dr. and have some blood work done. A simple supplement really helped my feelings of anxiety and depression after baby #2.
Maybe it’s more than a deficiency, but you owe it to yourself and your baby to get checked out. Your hormones just went through one heck of a roller coaster and hormonal imbalances can wreak havoc on your emotions, and your life with your new baby. There is absolutely no shame in fighting for your mental health, or dealing with anxiety. It happens to so many.
Motherhood can be such a joyous time. Some anxiety is normal but don’t let unhealthy levels of mom anxiety or depression steal the joy of this precious time from you or your baby.
Much love,
~Amy
For more of my challenging birth story with Baby #1 click here .
