First comes Love, then comes marriage, then come babies and you seem to forget the first two steps. Once upon a time, your love was as easy and unconscious as breathing. Fast forward 10 years, throw in a couple of kids, two jobs, and a host of other responsibilities and this love has switched into survival mode and could use an inhaler now and then.
There are times when Mommy and Daddy need a timeout too. A chance to regroup, rekindle, and remind each other that the love that brought them together, and built their family is still important and deserves attention. Because this relationship can sometimes seem to fly on autopilot, it doesn’t get the maintenance it needs. But left alone long enough, you’re going to hit turbulence and you want to make sure your foundation is strong.
Obviously, the majority of young parents can’t jet set all the time and leave the kids behind. Work, finances, childcare, the stars literally have to align perfectly for a parents only trip to happen. In light of this, and the fact that the day that celebrates all things love is coming up, I’d like to share a few ways to find alone time with or without childcare.
1.Ask Family or Friends
Ideally you want a “clean break”. One where you can hand the responsibility off to someone else for a weekend, a night, or even just an hour and focus on your partner. If this is you, I encourage you to be purposeful with the time you’re given. Now is not the time to get lost in your phone or catch up on netflix (unless you’re doing those things together). Obviously the ideal isn’t always reality. If this isn’t you, read on…
2. Date Night At Home
Ok so it’ll take some planning and creativity, but it’s worth it. These will depend on the ages of your children but if they’re older (toddlers and up) try serving them an early dinner and get them excited about a movie night. Throw in popcorn and whatever else is necessary. While they’re watching their movie, go to another room and have dinner with your significant other. Maybe order takeout, eat on the bed, sip on some wine, grab some dessert for just the two of you, and relish in the fact that you can talk without dealing with tantrums and spills.
Another option (particularly if you have babies) is to schedule a late date. Get those kids in bed asap and schedule a time to “date”. That means no cleaning, no finishing up work, do something that has you engaged and focused on each other. Maybe that means dinner, movie night, sitting outside and drinking wine, or maybe just talking. It doesn’t matter that much what you do, as long as you’re engaged with each other.
I know it isn’t easy, but your relationship, and your family as a whole will be stronger for it. It won’t be perfect. You will have to adjust when the kids spill popcorn during the movie, or wake up during your late date, but regroup and continue on…your relationship is worth it.
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